http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2044949/Does-disastrous-marriage-make-second-likely-succeed.html

5 thoughts on second weddings

Pinterest doesn’t know that I’m no longer married. It keeps sending me suggestions of beautiful dresses, locations, shoes, earrings etc. And I kept pinning like a maniac. Why not? I look at the whole thing with different eyes for sure, but weddings are still a beautiful thing.

My marriage didn’t last very long, it was wrong, I but I loved my wedding and I will never hold any grudges against it.  I never saw those pins with any hint of remorse, longing, regret, envy or anything like that. I even joked with my wedding planner Andrea Vágvölgyi that my wedding was great except for the groom 😉 – In all seriousness. It’s important to celebrate life’s key moments with your loved ones. Every step is part of the journey.

How to get married again

According to this article in DailyMail.co.uk your second marriage is most likely to be successful than the first one. That makes a second wedding more important than the first one to me. Yet everywhere you look it seems the other way around. They want you tone it down or make it less wedding like.

A lot of articles I found online about the topic are addressed to divorcees that have children or are 40+, but I also found to my surprise a lot of protocol BS that pretty much suggests that when you marry for the second time you are not to expect the same kind of big celebration as the first one. REALLY?

This one is my ‘favourite’ – How to get married again – Jill Curtis via hubpages.com. No big group of bridsmades or groomsmen, no train no white dress, no veil, no princess dress, no traditional wedding reception, no bridal shower, no gifts, no registry and a long ETC.

It has pearls like:

  • “The dictates of good taste do state that is it more dignified for a second wedding to be a smaller and more ‘intimate affair” – What if it’s the first for the groom? Doesn’t he deserve a big party?
  • “The guest list for a second wedding should be comprised of those who will be happy enough for you to be entirely hopeful for the success of the new marriage” – I have no words about this one

While I was rebuilding my life I spent as much time in Pinterest as in Elephant Journal. It’s a much better read if I may suggest. Forget all that BS!

Helena Mareque Novias

Image from Helena Mareque Novias – @susaeta, @misbalinesas

The only thing I agree on is to chose a different location, different flowers and different style of wedding cake. I would even add choosing a different style of dress. This is when the first wedding experience is useful. The plan Bs and Cs can now come in handy! The rest should be ignored if you are not an aristocrat, royalty or someone who cares about those things more than what really matters. The point was to obtain a satisfactory version of the childhood ‘dream wedding world’ all women secretly have, like Andrea says.

I found love again. It’s great news! I’m 33, and if I were to marry again I would want to celebrate it BIG TIME. Because this is so much better, this is it, and sometimes you just know. Divorced women tend know better what they want in a man. I would celebrate that there’s sunshine after the rain, that one should never bury those deepest dreams and desires because they seem impossible to achieve, and settle for less. It’s important to keep them alive. Those dreams are what you really want deep deep in your heart, and the moment you are true to yourself defending them, the universe has a way of making them come true.

So here’s 5 thoughts on second weddings:

  1.  It’s not fair at any point to even call it or treat it as “second”. I few years ago I met single mum that told me how she dealt with explaining adoption to her little Guatemalan girl. They talked about birth mum and mum for life, not first mum and second mum. I think the same should apply to weddings and marriage.
  2.  Creating a moment to remember is to me a wedding’s most important purpose. Sharing makes happiness happier. The paperwork is useful but It’s a separate thing. Commitment is most likely there before the wedding, it should be, and it’s unrelated to the other two.
  3. There are a million little details no blog or person tells you until you face wedding planning yourself. Now you are more prepared and know what you would do again and what would you skip
  4. Why not breaking all cliches for this wedding and liberating yourself from stereotypes? #bendtherules
  5. Worry less about it an enjoy it more (see the photo above again)

 

-Hindu Marriage Poem- 

You have become mine forever.
Yes, we have become partners. I have become yours.
Hereafter, I cannot live without you.
Do not live without me.
Let us share the joys.
We are word and meaning, unite.
You are thought and I am sound.
May the night be honey-sweet for us.
May the sun be all honey for us.
May the mornings be honey-sweet for us.
May the plants be honey-sweet for us.
May the earth be honey-sweet for us

Declaration of intentions

“I solemnly swear I’m up to no good”- Harry Potter said to activate the marauders map. While that’s not entirely true this time, I have the need to start my blog by saying that I will be posting about everything that triggers a thought, an insight, or sheer appreciation of beauty in me. I do not intent to keep a theme, but there will be categories because I’m an obsessive curator and organizer 🙂

While recovering from an annoying illness, I’m idle, looking at a rainy Singapore afternoon, with a million things in mind that prevent me from taking a much needed nap.

I have been a heavy user of Spotify,  Pinterest and Instagram for years, but why did I never grow a love for Twitter? – Because I’m a storyteller, and storytellers can’t make a long story short. In fact they don’t like to make a long story short. They indulge in the art of suspense, of unveiling insights and recalling adventures. That’s why I’m going to write a few more than 140 characters now.

I said to myself 22 days ago that 2016 is my year to shine. It’s the year 33 of my life, and to keep the numerology trend I will list 11 things that will make it easier for you to decide of you want to follow me, or not.

  1. I’m a woman, and a marketeer by profession. European and living in Asia
  2. The thing I hate the most in the world is unfairness and discrimination
  3. I find beauty and inspiration everywhere I look and many times I find myself having an idea a thought triggered by that. I will write about it.
  4. I love design. Quirky or classic, minimalist or overdone. There’s room for everything in my palette. You will see inspiration boards from fashion to art, decoration, weddings and interiors. They say out there I have good taste 😉
  5. I will not use this blog to complain. It will be my tool to turn the negative into positive
  6. Mindfulness is important to me. I always thought that I will never be an artist because I’m not capable of creation. I’m a curator. Then I realized that all elements of inspiration is out there in nature if you look with the right eyes, and creation is a mere process of curating, mixing and altering what’s already out there in a way that others have not seen before. You will be able to enjoy more of this insights if you follow me, but I might never be an artist.
  7. It’s important to add the element of fun in everything you do, like Mary Poppins said: and every task you undertake, becomes a piece of cake.
  8. Yes, I will quote movies and songs that capture words of wisdom
  9. I’m not religious but I’m spiritual, and sometime words of wisdom come from this source too. Without affiliation or any intent to preach.
  10. Endorsements. I will celebrate and praise brands that inspire me and entrepreneurs that have the courage to do their own thing and follow their passion. I will do it  because I believe in their cause.
  11. I’m not a native English speaker so please excuse in advance any possible mistake or weird sounding sentence

That’s it I think! I’m ready to rock.