http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2044949/Does-disastrous-marriage-make-second-likely-succeed.html

5 thoughts on second weddings

Pinterest doesn’t know that I’m no longer married. It keeps sending me suggestions of beautiful dresses, locations, shoes, earrings etc. And I kept pinning like a maniac. Why not? I look at the whole thing with different eyes for sure, but weddings are still a beautiful thing.

My marriage didn’t last very long, it was wrong, I but I loved my wedding and I will never hold any grudges against it.  I never saw those pins with any hint of remorse, longing, regret, envy or anything like that. I even joked with my wedding planner Andrea Vágvölgyi that my wedding was great except for the groom 😉 – In all seriousness. It’s important to celebrate life’s key moments with your loved ones. Every step is part of the journey.

How to get married again

According to this article in DailyMail.co.uk your second marriage is most likely to be successful than the first one. That makes a second wedding more important than the first one to me. Yet everywhere you look it seems the other way around. They want you tone it down or make it less wedding like.

A lot of articles I found online about the topic are addressed to divorcees that have children or are 40+, but I also found to my surprise a lot of protocol BS that pretty much suggests that when you marry for the second time you are not to expect the same kind of big celebration as the first one. REALLY?

This one is my ‘favourite’ – How to get married again – Jill Curtis via hubpages.com. No big group of bridsmades or groomsmen, no train no white dress, no veil, no princess dress, no traditional wedding reception, no bridal shower, no gifts, no registry and a long ETC.

It has pearls like:

  • “The dictates of good taste do state that is it more dignified for a second wedding to be a smaller and more ‘intimate affair” – What if it’s the first for the groom? Doesn’t he deserve a big party?
  • “The guest list for a second wedding should be comprised of those who will be happy enough for you to be entirely hopeful for the success of the new marriage” – I have no words about this one

While I was rebuilding my life I spent as much time in Pinterest as in Elephant Journal. It’s a much better read if I may suggest. Forget all that BS!

Helena Mareque Novias

Image from Helena Mareque Novias – @susaeta, @misbalinesas

The only thing I agree on is to chose a different location, different flowers and different style of wedding cake. I would even add choosing a different style of dress. This is when the first wedding experience is useful. The plan Bs and Cs can now come in handy! The rest should be ignored if you are not an aristocrat, royalty or someone who cares about those things more than what really matters. The point was to obtain a satisfactory version of the childhood ‘dream wedding world’ all women secretly have, like Andrea says.

I found love again. It’s great news! I’m 33, and if I were to marry again I would want to celebrate it BIG TIME. Because this is so much better, this is it, and sometimes you just know. Divorced women tend know better what they want in a man. I would celebrate that there’s sunshine after the rain, that one should never bury those deepest dreams and desires because they seem impossible to achieve, and settle for less. It’s important to keep them alive. Those dreams are what you really want deep deep in your heart, and the moment you are true to yourself defending them, the universe has a way of making them come true.

So here’s 5 thoughts on second weddings:

  1.  It’s not fair at any point to even call it or treat it as “second”. I few years ago I met single mum that told me how she dealt with explaining adoption to her little Guatemalan girl. They talked about birth mum and mum for life, not first mum and second mum. I think the same should apply to weddings and marriage.
  2.  Creating a moment to remember is to me a wedding’s most important purpose. Sharing makes happiness happier. The paperwork is useful but It’s a separate thing. Commitment is most likely there before the wedding, it should be, and it’s unrelated to the other two.
  3. There are a million little details no blog or person tells you until you face wedding planning yourself. Now you are more prepared and know what you would do again and what would you skip
  4. Why not breaking all cliches for this wedding and liberating yourself from stereotypes? #bendtherules
  5. Worry less about it an enjoy it more (see the photo above again)

 

-Hindu Marriage Poem- 

You have become mine forever.
Yes, we have become partners. I have become yours.
Hereafter, I cannot live without you.
Do not live without me.
Let us share the joys.
We are word and meaning, unite.
You are thought and I am sound.
May the night be honey-sweet for us.
May the sun be all honey for us.
May the mornings be honey-sweet for us.
May the plants be honey-sweet for us.
May the earth be honey-sweet for us

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